G.I.JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
January 20th 2010 20:37
Category: Videos
Director: Stephen Sommers
Screenplay by: Stuart Beattie, Dave Elliot & Paul Lovett
Story by: Michael B Gordon, Stephen Sommers & Stuart Beattie
Producer: Lorenzo Di Bonaventurer, Brian Goloner & Bob Ducsay
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levett (Rex/Doctor), Christopher Eccleston (McCullen/Destro), Channing Tatum (Duke), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord), Adewale Akinnuoye-Abaje (Heavy Duty), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Rachel Nichols (Scarlett), Sienna Miller (Ana/Baroness), Byung-Hun Lee (Storm Shadow), Jonathan Pryce (US President), Said Taghmadui (Breaker), Arnold Vosloo (Zartan) & Dennis Quaid (General Hawk)
Released by: Paramount
Running Time: 113 minutes Rating: M
If you are expecting something deep and insightful from this particular film then you will be sadly disappointed, this is essentially a special effects/action extravaganza with as much depth as a toddlers wading pool. Still what would you expect from a film that has been based on a series of kids toys? If anything this would have to be the world’s longest promotional campaign for a particular company’s merchandise, one wonders though how well the sales of various GI Joe paraphernalia went once this flick hit the big screen. Certainly its not be prevalent where I live and I’ve never seen any adds for the stuff, and there is bound to be stuff, after all Hasbro the company that originally makes GI Joe had a hand in this film’s production.
So what the heck is going on in this movie? What is the storyline that compels and moves the massive special effects and action along? Strangely it all begins in the past, in 1641 to be correct during the reign of the French Monarchs, a Scottish arms dealer one McCullen is being punished by the French authorities for selling arms not only to France but its many enemies. Force to wear a heated iron mask the arms dealer McCullen vows vengeance against the French monarchy and all who sail in it, saying that if his sons do not bring down the crown then it will be his clan, the McCullens who will do the job and make sure of it.
NATO takes possession of four such warheads; one wonders what for as in this day and age who the heck are they going to use them against? There is no indication that NATO is engaged in a conflict with anyone so why does it need to have these four warheads? Well obviously so the bad guys can take them off NATO and set in chain the whole sequence of events around which this film has been based. Which like I said earlier on is not so much predicated around the protagonists attempting to save the world from some impending calamity but to strike certain poses and show off all the cool toys running off the Hasbro factory assembly lines even as the cameras roll. It’s all about cross promotional agendas people, story, plot, character development all of these are simply grist to the mill of this particular focus.
If you have an intellect that is more than that of a single cell amoeba then within moments of the opening credits rolling on this film you can pretty much tell what’s going to happen as the drama progresses. It’s a film that offers nothing in the way of suspense, expectation or depth which is a shame as there probably could have been an effort made to remedy this particular lack and still keep the whole cross promotional shtick. Just because a film is action packed and chock full of special effects doesn’t mean it cannot have story, depth, great plot and character development, you only have to look at the initial Spiderman flick to see that this is the case.
And background is the other major feature sadly failing in this film. As mentioned earlier NATO takes possession of the first four nanomite warheads that come off the assembly line but for what purpose? In the days of the Cold War both superpowers developed more powerful nuclear warheads and delivery systems as part of deterrence, is there someone else in the world of GI Joe who has come up with nanomite weapons? Does MARS have a competitor that has created an equally devastating weapon system that NATO needs to combat against as its being sold to rival nations and alliances? Geopolitics and corporate competition doesn’t seem to enter into the equation, which is rather slack of the film makers, just having these weapons so your bad guys can steal them is a real cop out. Almost as if the writers couldn’t be bothered trying to resolve this and wanted the audience to fill in the blanks, I call that lazy myself but then again that’s just me.
If you are a big fan of GI Joe and the various assorted toys then this film is most assuredly right up your alley, if you’re looking for a bit more substance to your film viewing experience get Terminator; Salvation or Star Trek: The Future Begins or an episode of Doctor Who. Don’t bother watching this film, unless of course you just want to just chill out and not think about much. Oh and if you have kids, definitely do not under any circumstance let them watch this unless your bank balance and sanity can handle it...you have been warned.
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